Self-Promotion or Self-Destruction: A Response to Adam Grant

Most of us have experienced that 'icky' feeling when talking about our successes. In my research on bragging and self-promotion, this sentiment was almost universal. Yet, we all recognize that in today's world, you can't simply wait to be noticed. The bottom line is that it's imperative for most of us to talk about our achievements because no one cares about our future more than we do.

When people sent me Wharton Professor Adam Grant's article, “In a Job Interview, This Is How to Acknowledge Your Weaknesses,” paired with eye-rolling emojis, I knew it was bait. The article suggests that instead of self-promoting, especially if you're a woman, you should show vulnerability and humor during job interviews or applications.

Grant, who has over five million followers on LinkedIn, advises against self-promotion. However, as someone who has extensively studied this topic, I feel I need to offer an alternative perspective based on my research for the sake of everyone who is in today’s workforce and not an idealized world. Self-promotion isn't merely a tool for advancement; it's essential for visibility and survival.

Why Self-Promotion is a Necessity, Not a Choice

I have a deep investment in this counterpoint. I wrote the book Bragging Rights: How to Talk about Your Work Using Purposeful Self-Promotion. After years as a journalist and running a content company, I realized that my mission is to help people be seen and heard. Far too many of us have been told, "Put your head down, do good work, and eventually someone will notice you." Or, as Grant asserts, "Bragging about yourself violates norms of modesty and politeness—and if you were really competent, your work would speak for itself."

Strategic self-promotion shouldn’t be viewed as an infringement of modesty but as a valid, often essential strategy for visibility and recognition. There's a clear difference between self-promotion and self-aggrandizement, which involves puffery or an "I'm better than you" attitude. In contrast, bragging means talking about one's success with pride. My reframe is that pride means justified self-love. And yes, my last name is Bragg.

Authenticity plays a crucial role in self-promotion. Being authentic ensures that we present ourselves truthfully, which helps prevent coming across as disingenuous or arrogant. Purposeful self-promotion, when done authentically, reflects our genuine achievements and contributions.

The Problem with Vulnerability as a Strategy

In his article, Grant tells us about Michele Hansen, whom he lauds for leading with her shortcomings when applying for a job that she was unqualified for. While this strategy worked for Hansen, suggesting vulnerability as a universal approach overlooks critical nuances. For women and minorities, outright stating weaknesses and deficiencies can reinforce existing biases rather than dismantle them. The reality is, being forthright about limitations often results in very different outcomes for people from underrecognized groups, where systemic barriers already diminish their perceived capabilities.

Grant suggests we all take a page out of George Costanza's playbook on "Seinfeld" (a sitcom that ended in 1998) and confess our limitations. But George was a fictional character, known for being shallow and petty, and constantly self-sabotaging. It might work for the select few among us who are overly boastful.

In her Netflix special "Nanette," comedian Hannah Gadsby gives a stunning monologue about the damage of self-deprecation: “Do you understand what self-deprecation means when it comes from someone who is already in the margins? It’s not humility. It’s humiliation.” Women often engage in self-deprecation to appear nonthreatening or fit in. When we're not in power, making ourselves the easy punchline keeps the joke on us.

Does Humor Really Make Self-Promotion Easier?

How’s your comedic timing? Grant also argues that humor can alleviate the paradox of appearing competent without seeming arrogant. This "humorbragging"—blending humor with bragging—does indeed yield benefits like increased warmth and perceived competence. However, the suggestion that women, in particular, should add humor to their self-promotion toolkit verges dangerously close to the "smile more, honey" rhetoric that has long undermined professional women. Humor is nuanced. Here's the joke he suggests: “I have a proven track record of turning caffeine input into productivity output.” Did you see the funny in that? What might come off as charming from a well-established individual can seem inappropriate or unprofessional from someone less established or from a culturally diverse background.

Grant laments,“Sadly, there’s evidence for a particular backlash against female self-promoters. Trumpeting accomplishments violates outdated gender stereotypes of women as communal and modest rather than assertive and ambitious.” He cites research from 1998. This view reinforces societal biases and that women should pay the cost of an “invisibility tax.”

Instead of accepting this backlash as a given, we should question why it exists and work towards changing the cultural perceptions that fuel it. Encouraging individuals to shrink their presence is not the solution—altering the environment that punishes them for their visibility is. The realities of today's workforce—shaped by globalization, digital transformation, and evolving societal norms—demand a nuanced approach to self-promotion that recognizes the diversity of experiences and the unequal landscapes of opportunity that characterize our modern professional environments.

The Research Shows: Self-Promotion is Necessary

I deeply examined the research Grant cites for my book, and again in reviewing his article. His sources focus on small groups of American university students and overlook race, cultural, and economic backgrounds. In contrast, my extensive North American and international research shows that to be successful in the modern workplace, we need to fit in, stand out, and add in.

In our largest study on bragging and self-promotion, with 400 participants from 23 countries, we found that 70% felt that the advice to "let your reputation speak for itself" is outdated. Moreover, 85% believed that self-promotion is necessary, highlighting a consensus on the importance of self-advocacy. Younger people disliked self-promotion, but anyone over 25 recognized its necessity and wanted to improve this skill.

Approximately 90% of respondents enjoyed hearing about other people's successes. This positive attitude towards achievements suggests that many are open to strategic self-promotion from others. Bragging and self-promotion aren’t about being self-centered. It's about sharing your achievements so you can make a bigger impact.

Grant's perspective seems to presuppose a meritocratic environment where everyone's input is noticed and fairly evaluated. Yet, the stark persistency of wage gaps, leadership disparities, and underrecognition in leadership and executive positions across various sectors starkly contradicts this ideal. These issues are not mere remnants of a bygone era but ongoing challenges that need assertive self-advocacy as part of their solutions. For too many, the luxury of modesty is not just unaffordable; it is a direct route to invisibility in the workplace. In the research and interviews, I found that most people would rather leave an employer than self-advocate for a promotion.

In "Bragging Rights," I advocate for transforming how we view self-promotion. It's not gauche or unsophisticated, but a vital, strategic tool for navigating and succeeding in a complex professional world. We must move beyond the outdated notion that our work will speak for itself. In an ideal world, perhaps it would. But in our less-than-ideal world, we must speak for our work and ourselves with clarity, conviction, and yes, even with a bit of bravado.

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